you deserve someone who listens to you

hears every words and know what to do 

when you're feeling hopeless, lost, and confuse

there's somebody out there who will.

- A Rocket to the Moon

:")

a deep talk with my girl

hey guys, it's me again.
just got home.
talked with my best girl today.
had a really deep talk.

i am facing a big problem now.
i have no idea that i will face this kind of problem someday, somehow.
but shit happens, right? hahah :p

so i talked with (call her P) today.
and she knows me too well. :')
i couldn't lie to her.
i told her everything. like literally. everything.
cause we haven't met in a year or more i think.

and i thank God, i have this girl as my best friend.
i think she reads my mind hahahah.
however,
she told me that ;
stop saying no to people that try to come in your life. 
someday you must and you will make yourself 'more open' to other people. 
cause in the end, you'll need 'em.

jleb.

20 it is!

so i'm back!! with a new age, left my teen ages, but the same behavior hahahah.
i actually don't know what to write. it's just me being banyak mau and can't sleep. oh well.

so, it's me, not ready for the future!
not actually ready for these questions..
* udah-punya-pacar-belum?
* wah bentar lagi mama kamu mantu dong?
* lulus kuliah kapan?
* abis kuliah, terus mau kerja dimana?
* nggak mau kerja di Perancis dulu???

ok guys, S L O W D O W N! huhu but it actually makes me think. sooner or later, i have to face them and get that shit together and actually BE SOMEONE. who?
i don't know.
yet.

for now, i just have to live my life and learn more. why?
cause i've spent so much time and money attending Ferrandi, so it's my responsibility to be a good one there, and make something.
and not galau with that pacar-less thing. i mean, hello???? que sera, sera huh???

since i'm 20 y.o already, i'd like to make some wishes. for myself. hehe. and i'd like to share it with you.
* I hope that God gives us [me, family, friends] a big amount of happiness!
* I hope that everything goes smooth and fun like eating oreo ice cream! wait... it's not smooth. it's  a lil bit rocky, but well, c'est la vie~
* I hope that God gives the unfortunate people, a lot of food and blessings. 
* and I hope God forgives me, for all my sins, in those nakal-teen-years hahahah

so that's all. so-really-not-deep wishes, but cheered me up heheheh.

gotta go now.
to bed.
and cheers for 20!

bisous,
D

saying goodbye is never easy.

never.

he was someone significant, in my blood, and in my head.
once.

i have no idea what's the future gonna bring me.
but the present is hurtful.

wishing someone all the best is easy.
but not easy when it's someone you loved.

my mouth couldn't say so much.
but a hug does.

and it's flowing over my body.
and inside my blood.
and right to my heart.

it hurts. i know.
John Green said once ;
it hurts because it matters.

well.
what can i say.
what can i do.

goodluck, you.
take care.
be good.

warm regards,
D

i will survive

this morning, someone asked me how can I be so strong for being a way from home-7199 miles away. how can I face my fears and beat it. and how can I be so happy.

she is away from home too. but not as far as me. it really made me think at some point.
* am i really THAT strong?
* am i mature ENOUGH to face my fears?
* am i really THAT happy?

well, i admit. sometimes, I had hard times here. and my job here at my work place is even harder. I kept thinking and thinking and thinking.

to be honest, I have no idea what to tell her. like, literally.

and I told her ; 'enjoy your life'
(that sounds sooooo cheesy, i know)

but then yeah, i realized. how i appreciate every seconds in my life. how i appreciate every little things in my life. and how I push myself harder to learn. (sorry, do not want to be sombong, but well, sorry not sorry :p)

as I remember, this world, like, always reminds me to smile. in the metro (subway), in the streets, in the school, or even in the workplace even if I have to work like a dog.

it can be everything you know. it may be a little girl giggling at me, or my colleague at workplace shouting my name and smile, or give me a hug. i think that's my reason to be strong (besides all the supports from you guys) or it may be a cup of coffee that i bought in my favorite coffee shop (or bubble tea :p --asian's fav!) or it may be an old people that I gave my seat to.

may be, it can be a warning from my chef, or a complain from my colleague, or the pressures that they gave me at work. even if it's soooo hard to accept, i keep going on. and if you believe in yourself, like me, today, it leads you to a good thing--believe me!





9 months in Paris has passed by. gonna face another one year here.
I am grateful to be here,
and surprisingly, I survived this 9 months.
and I will survive another year here.

i
will
survive.

love,
D

kamu.

menjadi definisi saya tentang perubahan.

'everybody's changing and I don't feel the same.'

-Keane-